I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize