That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
