WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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