It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
