Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
