she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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