my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
