Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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