Apparently you make a good broom.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
