I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
