Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
