i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
