Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
