if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
