We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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