FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
