Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
