you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
