Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
