And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
