quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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