all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
