my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
wow bdsm is so cute
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
