Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
