Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
