I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize