This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
