After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
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