I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
