This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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