What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
