Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize