She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
