haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
In America we eat man semen.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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