So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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