Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
