The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Dicks are not precious.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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