jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
How's work?
Spinning.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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