She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
