Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the day after is always just damage control
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
