using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize