if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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