dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
