Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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