Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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