we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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