i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
As shirtless as possible
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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