she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
