WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
