youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
