walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
