is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
