Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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