dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My pussy is not your playground.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
