So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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