so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
