whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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