As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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