I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
